Why Am I Cheesin?

There's this dude that I have been talking to for the last 2 months. Shortly after the New Year, we got cool, and chatted frequently. We lost touch for a couple of weeks, but he called me Friday and wanted to finally meet me face to face. Don't you just hate meeting people for the first time via A4A/BGC? Anyway, we met up, and everything was cool. I didn't read too much into it, because we all know how niggas can be. I just played it cool, and got to know him. Not long after meeting, we got comfortable with each other, but nothing sexual popped off. I was basically just trying to see what kind of dude he was. He tried to play the whole mean/snobbish role, but underneath it all he's sweet. What really got me was his smile. When he wasn't trying to look all mean, I caught a glimpse of one of the most beautiful smiles ever. It just lights up his whole face. After we chilled for a couple of hours, he headed home, then called me once he got there. We talked until he fell asleep. Usually, it irritates me when people go to sleep on me, but I had a feeling that he just wanted to hear my voice to be the last one he heard for the night. I probably was reading too much into it, but let me have my moment. LOL. The weekend passed with us texting each other. Tonight, he hit me with a text just saying wassup. I asked when was I going to see him again, and he said he didn't know. He had a busy week ahead of him. I didn't know what to make of that, so i just said aw, ok. Those must have been the magic words because the next thing I knew, he called me saying open my door. I let him and and he said that he wanted to see me and that he didn't want me to think that he was bullshitting me. This totally caught me off guard. I guess me acting like I could care less if I saw him or not got his attention. we chilled for about half an hour, then he had to go pick up his cousins. He's one of those people that ain't really big on affection, so I was really floored when he asked for a hug, and hugged me tight. We then laughed and talked for about 10 minutes in the bitter cold before he actually left. He's been gone 20 minutes now, and I can't stop smiling. I don't know why, because I'm not trying to invest too much into this, yet try not to be so pessimistic. I guess time will tell. My next blog will probably be about some hoe shit that he's done, but I am just going to enjoy my blush session for now.

I'm Still Alive!

Sorry, ya'll, I know that it's been AGES since I have posted, but there wasn't really anything going on. Lately, I have just been going through the motions. It just seems like things aren't moving. Like I'm in a rut. But, in the last few days, life has been interesting. Picking up a little momentum. There have been niggas left & right trying to get me, which is new for me. I guess it's this newfound attitude that I have adopted since the start of the new year. Over the years, I have always been looking for that 1 to call mines, but now, I ain't feeling it anymore. Now, that i don't give a fuck, dudes have been taking an interest in me, I'm not about to budge, though. The lats thing that I need in my life is a boyfriend. There are certain things in my life that I have to tend to before I can even THINK about being with someone. I know just because I'm thinking this way, Mr. Right is going to fall into my orbit. He may just have to put in a little work to get me, because I'm re-asserting my independece from everyone. I have lost 2 of my closest friends, leaving me with only 3 now. I am going to start beefing up my inner circle. I need some more friends & associates. I feel myself changing for the better more & more everyday, and I love it.

R.I.P. Baby Girl: Aaliyah Dana Haughton (1979-2001)

Happy Birthday, A! I have always been a fan of you and your music (Prior & after her death). Her style & swag was so different. It singled her out of all the other female artists out during her time and created an image that can NEVER be duplicated.. She inspired millions with her creativity & joyous presence. Her dark, mysterious aura always had you wanting more. As a tribute 2 her, I am posting a poem that her brother, Rashad, made and put on her site today.
Love you, sweetheart.

Da Showdown: End Of A Friendship?

In my last post, I was tellin ya'll about my female friend dat was stayin wit me. After day 4, things was goin pretty cool, until day 6. I went into my moms' room 4 somethin and my friend told me dat I should have knocked. She got checked 4 dat shit. When u aint payin rent, u gets no privacy. I was tryin 2 be a good friend, but she was temptin me 2 kick her ass out.

Day 9, I overheard her talkin 2 her boyfriend. He asked her why she wasn't gone go back 2 her moms' crib and she said dat she would visit, but dat was somethin dat she didn't want 2 do right now. I'm like, hold da fuck up. I thought dat her moms kicked her out. I knew dat her moms didn't mean it when she told my friend 2 get out. She only said dat shit out of anger. How da fuck was she gone continue 2 stay wit me when she couldve just went back home? It wasnt dat her moms aint want her 2 come back. My friend didnt wanna go back. My friend wanted me 2 go wit her 2 go get sum bag, so I said yeah. We had 2 talk anyway.

On da way 2 da weedman, my friend moms called her. She was so loud dat I could hear wat she was sayin 2 my friend. Her moms was talkin bout how she wasnt mad @ her and she was callin 2 see if she was okay and shit like dat. When my friend got off da phone, I said dat I knew her moms wasnt mad no more. She didnt wanna talk about her moms cause she was still pissed at her nigga 4 sum dumb shit, but I didnt give a fuck. We was settlin dis shit now.

I told her dat she shouldve talked out shit wit her moms and stayed wit her. She got loud wit me and told me dat if I was any kind of friend dat I would just let her continue 2 stay wit me. I was talkin 2 her calmly, but she was gettin louder and louder, so when we got back 2 da house, I let dat bitch have it!

Aint nobody gone talk shit 2 me and continue 2 stay in my shit. I told her 2 get her shit and get da fuck out of my house. 9 days was enough of good friendship 2 me. If she could go back home and she didnt, dat meant dat she was basically takin advantage of me, and I coulndt have dat. She packed up her shit, and didnt give me a thanks 4 my hospitality or nuthin. I told dat hoe dat she didnt have 2 call me again or nuthin because she had mad audacity 2 try and be mad @ me 4 kickin her out. Lo & behold, da hoe ended right back up @ her moms, crib, dat lyin bitch.

I havent heard from dat job dat I had an interview wit, so I guess I prolly wasnt wat they wanted, oh, well. It feel so good 2 have dat freeloadin ass hoe up out my house. Dats da last muthafuckin time I open up my home 2 any friend. They better get a tel-a-thon or sum shit, cause I aint da 1. And people wonder why I can be such an asshole @ times. Because when u put yo feelins, heart, generosity, or watever else on da line, pussy mouth niggas take advantage of it. I think dat its time 4 me 2 just get grimey wit my shit.

My Houseguest From Hell

Since Wednesday, one of my female friends has been staying with me. She got into it wit her moms over sum dumb shit and her moms kicked her out. I told her dat her moms aint mean because I really didnt want her here wit me. LOL.

My friend is just one of those people dat u kno it wouldnt work wit yall livin together so why risk da friendship 4 it? But, against my better judgement I told her she could stay.

Her second night here, she gon ask me if her nigga could spend da night! I didnt say anything because I was so caught off guard by wat she asked. How da fuck da company gone have company? Wat?! He didnt stay, but I was still shocked dat she would even ask me sum shit like dat. Mind u, my moms is barely here, so she told my friend dat she could sleep in her bed. Why da fuck would I let dis bitch lay up wit a nigga in my moms bed? She done lost her goddamn mind!

Her third night, I had company upstairs wit me, and I saw her nigga's car pull up, then it was gone about 5 minutes later. I come downstairs 2 let my company out, and to my surprise, my friend is gone and my front door is unlocked! She didnt let me kno dat she was leavin or for me 2 lock da door so im pissed. I was upstairs and anybody coulda been in my shit and I would have thought dat it was her, get me? Wen she got back wit her nigga (who she didnt even ask could come over), I checked her ass. I told her to not EVER leave my shit without tellin me or leave my shit unlocked again. I guess she was embarrassed cause I snapped in front of her nigga but I dont give a fuck! Respect my house!

Today, she been real quiet and short wit me. I guess she supposed 2 be mad. I could give 3 flyin fucks about her bein mad at me. Dis is why I didnt want her here. Because I knew dat she would start doin bullshit like dis. I was gone and before she left 4 work she gon call me and ask me wat was da password 2 my computer. Wat bitch? U aint talked 2 me all day and been hella short wit me actin like u mad, but u wanna hop on my shit? Fuck u. I told her dat she wasnt gettin da password so she could be on my shit wenever I leave. Hell no! After dat she continued 2 be short wit me. Now she gone text me from downstairs and ask me if I wanted 2 watch a movie. I was gone tell her hell no but I aint gon even be like dat.

She got 1 more time 2 fuck wit me and her ass is grass, feel me? I dont want our friendship 2 be ruined because of dis but she gon tempt me 2 just say fuck it. Why I gots 2 be so nice? Ugh!

On a good note, I gots dis interview on monday, wish me luck!

Confessions of A Scorpio:

They say dat Scorps are the freakiest of da zodiac, and Im thinkin dat they could be right.Readin another blogger's post got me 2 thinkin bout some of da nasty shit dat goes through my mind on a regular basis. Im a very sexual person. I love havin it, readin about it, writin about it, talkin about it, lookin @ it, da whole 9. I dont fuck often which is why I have other outlets.

Dont judgne me, but I love nasty, extremely freaky incest stories. I kno, disgustin, aint it? I wouldnt EVER fuck around wit fam, but it would turn me on 2 watch other muthafuckas do it.I have read a few incest stories dat are just so fuckin hot, damn! I guess its da whole forbidden aspect of it. U can say its nasty, but straight people say da same bout us, so, watever. I have written a few myself but have never shared wit anyone because Im kinda afraid of wat kind of feedback I may get. LOL. But it aint just incest, I love all kinds of sexual stories. As long as they are extremely descriptive, then Im on board 4 'em.

I can talk 2 someone about sex 4ever, because 2 me, its not da most important part of a person, but u can damn sure tell wat kind of person u dealin wit when it comes down 2 shit they like in da bedroom.

Im a porn junkie. I think I beat off at least 3 times a day in my spare time. And, I also like 2 watch other people fuck. I dont have 2 join in, as long as I beat watchin them, then Ill get mines. Straight & gay porn are da biz, but bi porn is just as hot, if not more. If da porn industry could just see dat black folks get into dat shit 2, we would have so many scorchin fuck sessions! The whole idea of a nigga eatin pussy while he gettin fucked blows my mind. Dats wat I love about straight porn: Da big ass dicks and seein the sexy ass kats eatin pussy and suckin on big ass tits.

I can just get kinky wit it. Fuckin wit food, lickin, kissin, tastin, eatin, suckin, fuckin, watever. Sometimes, it could be a friend or watever, but I like 2 invite someone over 2 watch porn, and just da sight of them beatin off or playin in their ass naked wit me is enough 2 get my rocks off! Im all about safe sexual explorin in 2008, so I hope I get 2 do more of dat.

Feelin A Lil' Green

It's crazy no matter how old u get, u can still manage 2 become jealous @ times. My male best friend spends this great deal of time wit another one of his friends, and it just pisses me off. It's like they are inseparable. There is this certain amount of sexual tension between them that's so obvious 2 everyone but them. Maybe that's why they spend so much time together, because they wanna fuck, or maybe because they just enjoy each other's company (damn, I'm even deludin myself). It's hard 4 me 2 express my feelins sometimes, because my best friend can be hard 2 confront about certain things, but Imma try. I feel like he's slowly slippin away from me. What if they end up givin into the way that they feel about each other and become a couple? I probably will really be assed out. I learned that they spent New Year's together and that really had me heated. Maybe I'm just bein a spoiled brat, but I don't care. that's my friend, dammit! I have 2 try and relax, because I have a temper and I don't want 2 just pop off and start clickin 4 no reason, but it's hard.

2008: Let's Get It!

It's January 1st. A new year, new day, and new chapter in my life. I thought that I would try out this bloggin thing 2 see if it's 4 me. I'm usually always rantin and ravin, so it should be. LOL. I rung in the new year all by myself. I had a few plans, but in the end, they all fell through. @ midnight, I was holdin a bible & a glass of orange juice. I was kinda salty @ first, but then I thought able all of the people who didn't get a chance 2 see the year 2008, and I immediately put myself in check. I just took it as a sign that I need 2 focus more on myself and quit puttin everyone else and their feelings first. Last year was a pretty decent one. I got 2 huge burdens off of my shoulders. Got the job that I wanted, and quit the one that was holdin me back. I have a few things in mind for the new year like work out more and continue 2 lose weight. I am 10 lbs lighter so far and lovin it! Im not fat by any means, but I could stand 2 lose about 10-15 more lbs. I'm growin in facial hair and beginnin 2 customize my overall look. Pimpin my swag, I should say. By the Spring, I should be where I want. As I change my appearance, I feel my life changin more & more. Not in a bad way, but just in a different way. I don't really have any plans 4 2008, but more like goals. When u make plans, God will break them, so I just consider what I want goals. They're easier to follow through than plans. Hopefully, the next 12 months will be full of so much that once I stop, I will finally be satisfied. But, I'm never satisfied, so go figure. LOL.